We are a generation, different, bold, and outwardly happy. You must be thinking, "Here we go again, another person ranting about what a messed up generation we are" but that's not exactly what I think or feel.
We have just left behind an amazing mental space, a phase in our lives that was full of fun and change, of course, "teenage." And now we have entered our 20s. I call this phase the "figuring out" phase. It's like a mid-life crisis, well with a wrong timing course, some call it the quarter-life crisis.
And why do I like to call it the "figuring out" phase?
Because it sounds more optimistic than quarter-life crisis (cause it doesn't involve the word crisis)
It defines most people in this phase & I’ll explain how...
Figuring Out
I believe that all of us are figuring out something or the other. While half of us are figuring out if we have made the right decision, the other half is figuring out what to do next, making a decision that would not require us to sit and figure out if it was right or wrong. And then there are a few people who are figuring out all of this all at once. I think these people are practically at war with themselves all the time.
Most of this leads to a situation where we are not at peace with ourselves. We are either not at peace with who we are, how we perceive ourselves right now, or maybe where we see ourselves in the near future. But in both cases, it leads to some sort of dissatisfaction and disappointment.
It's not a great feeling.
So what are we doing about it?
Quarter-life crisis?
Not much. We accept that it's a phase that comes, and it's quarter-life crisis that would slowly fade away. Would it? Or, all that will change, is the question that troubles us or the intensity with which it bothers us. And probably we would then feel it's another phase in life, called mid-life crisis which will pass away. And thus we live a life with a sense of dissatisfaction, and disappointment mingling in our subconscious which gets triggered every now and then.
So practically all we are doing is hoping that things will get better and this phase will pass. But why just hope?
Hope & Trust
A friend of mine always used to say that hope is a very negative word, and that one should rather use the word trust. I used to look at this as just another unpopular opinion of his out of the 1,000 other such unpopular opinions. But now, I think I understand and also resonate with what he said. Because hope is nothing but dependence on some external force or event. It's the lack of trust in your own self. So, why hope and why not trust?
We need to trust ourselves to bring a change in our own phase. To be at peace with our own selves and to move towards a little bit of satisfaction.
But how do we do that? Is there anything actionable that can be done to bring in this change?
Well, there is more to it. We need to understand the root cause that puts us. into this "figuring out" phase. There is a lot to understand here and most of it is very subjective. But if I have to generalize, I would say there are two things that we are missing out on, something we have been messing around with, priorities and balance.
Does it sound so trivial and cliche?
Priorities & Balance
Let me explain with more context. I have observed that most of us prioritize others over our own self. Not as simple as it sounds. By others, I mean everyone except our present self. Present is the keyword here. We often prioritize our future self over us, to the extent that even our introspection is more about trying to understand who we want to be or if we are who we want to be rather than just simply understanding who we are. It's important to understand who we are and separate it from who we want to be and then prioritize our own present selves. Spending time with our own present self.
But it's quite impractical and impossible to completely push away our future self as well. That's where the balance kicks in.
It's not as easy as it sounds. But it's just beautiful once understood. It's a journey from "quarter-life crisis " to "quarter-life"
Cheers.